What the HELL is Going On!!
Wow, it has been a hot minute since I have sat down and actually written on my blog. Or written period as a matter of fact. For those who know me, writing has always been my first true love. Although I enjoy being creative through my Youtube and Instagram posts and talking real life on my podcast, there is something about the art of storytelling that just greets my soul so peacefully. But if this is how I feel, why have I been avoiding it so much. Why can't I sit my ass down and write in my journal or on my blog. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!
I like to think that people avoid the very things that make them uncomfortable. I worked so hard on my website and keep it running mostly just for it to sit?
I think I already know the answer but I am just too ashamed to admit it...
Writing is such a fragile piece of me. It feels too important to let so many in and too vulnerable to allow others and their critiques to secure a spot in this space.
But what does that do for me? How can I possibly benefit from allowing others to control the very thing that makes my soul moan. Being bound to the thoughts of others doesn't allow for growth, creativity, or happiness.
I have done what many humans do, and that is allow the outside world to dictate my creative space. But I can't live through this any more. I have to BREATH. I have been wanting to write and book for years and now its time. Every decision I have made up until this point in my life has been to be a write. To write. To uplift the world through my words. I OWE that much to myself.
There are too many grey areas in life to confuse the areas that make sense to you and who you are.
I am her. I am here. I am ready. I believe.
This is my time. To write on my blog. To write that book. To not give a fuck how many people read this post. At this point this is about me, for me. I just hope I can touch a few spirits as I embark on this new level of self love and self care which includes indulging in the simplest needs in life. My writing.
Amber Marie Mack